RIP Siffy Siff

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the passing of Siffy Siff.  It's ok to shed a tear.  I shed more than a few myself.

Siffy Siff was a Betta fish that Ellie picked out when she was potty trained.  Basically Siffy Siff was her bribe.  And he worked.  The first week with no accidents we went to the Pet Store and she picked out the only red Betta they had in the shop.  At that moment Ryan and I looked at each other and thought we were totally screwed if this fish bit it because we would never find another one that looked like Siffy Siff.

A pleasant surprise to everyone in our family, Siffy Siff lived past his five day pet store guarantee.  In fact he lived in our home for 11 months.  Which makes it more difficult to say good bye because we were attached.  In fact if you asked Ellie if she had any pets, she would answer, "Yes!  I have Siffy Siff.  Oh, and a dog named Oxford, too."

Our little red Betta was named by Ellie herself.  At a little over two, right after she picked him out Ryan and I asked her what his name was.  She answered Siffy Siff.  Which in two year old Ellie speak was Fishy Fish.  Ellie said Fish wrong until she was three.  Mostly because she likes to be difficult and different.  Last summer we would tell her "Fah-fah-fah FISH" and she would reply "Fah-fah-fah SIFF!" every time.  She would say farm, fan, fort, Frank - any other F word {well, not the F word yet, thank goodness!} except fish.  And every time she said Siff she got a little smirk on her cute face.

So the last few days Siffy Siff had been swimming towards the top.  We knew it wasn't good but what do you do for a fish?  We crossed our fingers at night hoping he would make it because Ellie runs over to say good morning to her little friend each day.

This afternoon I peaked in his fish home and saw his little body laying at the bottom.  A flood of emotions swept over me.  I was grossed out, sad, and nervous.  How do you explain a dead fish to a three year old?

Remembering how traumatized we were as children when our first goldfish died, I immediately called my sister.  Auntie's Betta, Claude {after Monet, of course} lived in a tiny bowl in her office for three years!  I felt like a failure.

After reassuring me that changing the water four days ago did not kill Ellie's favorite pet, she gave me really good advice on how to deal with the situation.  The first thing she told me was this is the part of being a parent that really sucks.  Ain't that the truth!  She also assured me that Ellie can handle the truth - we don't need a replacement fish and we shouldn't hide the tank like he never existed.

Auntie helped me break it down.  Trees live a really long time.  People live a long time.  Dogs live kind of long, but small pets just aren't around a really long time.  And that's ok.  It's ok to be sad and it's ok to miss Siffy Siff.

So that's the talk that is going to happen in the morning.  We flushed him after Ellie went to bed - we all agreed she didn't need to deal with thoughts of a burial at sea yet.  But I'm scared.  I'm bursting a bubble and taking something away from her.  Making her face a reality. 

Wish me luck.  I will update later on how it all went.

And just because I am having a REALLY bad mom day, I searched everywhere but we do not have a picture of Siffy Siff. Sigh.


So here is a pic of a red Betta fish.  Not ours, but one will similar coloring found by searching "red and purple betta fish" in google.

RIP Siffy Siff.

UPDATE:

We talked with Ellie this morning.  She had more than a few questions.

First she asked, "Well, will Siffy Siff be back tomrrow?"

Next it was, "Can I make Siffy Siff a card so he'll feel all better?"

Then, "Where will Siffy Siff live when he is done living in Heaven's house?"

And onto, "But who took Siffy Siff out of his bowl?  Where did he go?"

Finally, "Ok, so if fish don't live as long as trees, can we get another one now?!"

We answered everything as best we could and Ellie seemed satisfied with our answers.  With the exception of the "Can we get another fish?" question.  I told her we would have to think about it because honestly?  I don't want another fish.  Fish totally creep me out.  Apparently they creep Ryan out, too, which I didn't expect. 

So I guess the real answer to can we get another fish would be "when you are old enough to clean out it's bowl and keep it in your own room, sure!" 

I'll probably be posting pictures of Ellie and her new fish next weekend.